Chimpscrimination Alert!

Cheeta, 76-year-old thespian, APEstract artist and friend of LuxuriaMusic was yet again denied a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. This marks the seventh submission by Cheeta's people, who have nominated the chimp for his long service to the entertainment industry as an animal actor in such films as Tarzan and Bedtime for Bonzo.

Yes, it's hard out here for a chimp, but not so much for a fictitious fairy: Walt Disney's Tinker Bell character (film drops Oct. 28, 2008!) was one of the 25 "stars" OK'd for WoF status this year. Also, John Stamos. For shame, Walk of Fame Committee, for shame! Even Perez Hilton is griping about Cheeta's omission, and he's usually more concerned about which celebrity forgot to put on her underpants that day.

Luxuria listeners may remember Cheeta from his October 2007 fundraising campaign with the station, in which the chimp generously donated three APEstracts, including a portrait of pop group The Monkees. Many DJs continue to keep up with Cheeta and his activities at the Palm Springs C.H.E.E.T.A. Primate Sanctuary. While the repeat rejection was upsetting to Cheeta and sanctuary owner Dan Westfall, the chimp would simply not be fazed by the negative news.

"Cheeta is going to have an iTunes single out soon, I believe it's a remake of CW McCall's 'Convoy' done jungle style," reports his unflappable publicity agent Sal Cataldi. "Proceeds are going to Cheeta charity and the Goodall Foundation. I'll ask them to get Luxuria an advance on it."--Becky Ebenkamp

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